Beauty is in the heart

I will not write about people’s looks and physicality which I believe they have no power to change but to only work with what God gave them on creation day. However, forgive me as I write about the additions we employ – because I totally believe we have control over them.

If you lived in the good olden days, you probably miss them with deep nostalgia. Those times were awesome and honest – what you saw is what you got.

Well, if you are to alter anything on your body in the quest of looking better than God created you, please be sure that it’s going to be on point. Now, I get bothered and really much when a lady decides to mow a whole handful of eye brow and re-draws something that ends up looking like a poorly drawn sperm cell. Do you have an idea what angels are reporting about you as you are doing all these? You will see when we all get home and God asks that you first restore default settings before He even debates your other sins. Even in our court systems altering of documents is highly punishable by the law, so imagine how much more it is penalized when you meet with Emmanuel’s father.

Please do the eyebrow beautifully so that even as I look at the creativity I am awed by how great your hands can be useful. Do not leave your eyebrow giving an impression that you are eternally surprised by drawing that long and unending arc like the SGR.

Nose piercing sometimes looks really good (on some people). Just be sure the piece you are going to plant on that nose is quality because it stands out a lot. When you just plant there anything, we will not know whether it’s for beauty or identification purposes.

Men get really aroused by boobs. So it has been the pursuit of every lady to have them really pronounced which is why someone is making money on padded bras (magic bra). Well, I will equally love the outcome of using such bras but please let’s be realistic. If you are gonna enhance those twins, do it to reasonable levels because when the bra is opened by a brother the boob will roll back to its original size and refuse to participate in your lies. How am I going to make peace with my eyes? This is fraud! The view must have probably influenced the decision making process of my innocent heart. If you don’t have them big, don’t be worried. That is not the only thing we look at – some few of us still look at the heart – invest more in your heart, make it clean and pure and you will have a way.

At one point as a woman you will just find more body coming and before you realize that cute waist is playing elusive games like a mirage. Somehow you imagine the cosset (my friend calls it ‘mabati’) will sort you. I am now telling you from a man’s point of view, we have no problem with your mass, in fact, we actually have a problem with the cosset! You know life is already difficult especially in this sub-Saharan country called Kenya, why then would you impose more suffering of arresting yourself in a cosset the whole day? Angels that would be guarding other children of God elsewhere are deployed around you on fulltime and overtime basis just to make sure that cosset thing doesn’t grind you into a pulp. The African woman is who she is for who she is and not what she is– big or small she still rocks! So, flaunt that body if you have it and catwalk finely if you don’t have.

Mmmmh. Now, someone invented the high-heeled shoes. Sometimes I see ladies walk around with humility that is only brought with wearing high-heeled shoes – others literary tip-toe like praying mantis and I ask myself, why go through all these self-inflicted pain? You need to re-check your list of friends – true friends should tell you, ai, ah ah, high-heels are not for you. There is scores of women that look beautiful and graceful in flat shoes and they still manage to break a couple of necks here and there while walking around. I think the greatest accessory you can add on yourself to look more beautiful is confidence.

Lest I go to bed on a hungry stomach tonight or be forced to sleep on the couch, let me leave women alone and say something about men. Men, the moment you walk around with your ‘utensils’ clutched into a fist for everyone to see, something should tell you that trouser is very tight. Please find something fitting and appealing to others. It’s not metro sexual anymore to suffocate your utensils just like that in the name of fashion. And again I guess your ‘utensils’ must remain a mystery until some daughter of Eve decides to find out for themselves. She is the one who will tell whether you are small or big – you don’t have to display for public scrutiny. Maybe that’s why you are still single and ever searching…

Alenga Torosterdt.